L1. Epilogue

Two days later, the group reassembles much sooner than any of them had expected in Hipparchus’s study (in reality, simply part of the Potting Shed’s large interior, partitioned off with book cases). They each found a note in their pigeon holes that morning. Hipparchus looks worried. 

“I’m sorry to gather you all together so soon but I received the following rather worrying letter today. Let me read it to you. 

Greetings Minion. 

Cease and desist 

It has come to my notice that attempts at education are taking place on unlicensed premises, with inadequate teacher qualifications and substandard students. This letter is a standard ‘cease and desist’ notice with a statement of fines to follow. Note that the fines can be reduced by 30% in return for prompt answers for my research questions. There is no reason for no benefit to emerge from this fiasco. 

Question 1: Do you think that narrative forms of teaching building on contingent interpersonal student-tutor relationships and merely informally structured lesson plans undermine, hinder, negate or obliterate learning?

Question 2: Is a lesson without an explicit statement of aims and objections in the signed lesson contract between educator and learning-consumer merely naive, irresponsible or a capital offence? 

Question 3: … 

That will probably do.”

“Who is it from and are they important?” asks Lottie.

“It is signed ‘Professor Big Johnny T, Educational Supremo’ and it’s from one of the newer universities. 

“Bristol or Durham?” asks pTravis. 

“Neither in fact. There are many universities these days, extending participation. Do keep up! I’m hoping that Lottie will go to university in the fullness of time and you two are not too old to think about a little more education, especially you pTravis. You have a fine mind, young fellow. 

Do you think we can or should help this blackguard?” 

“Sure we can, Teach! But surely that’s not the issue. What about the fine for trying to teach me? You were doing your best. I think I learnt something. Alcock won’t be best pleased if we cause him more hassle. The Potting Shed doesn’t actually have any money.” 

“Ah, there, I think we have good news. ‘Big Johnny T’ has included, for reasons that escape me except that it is what passes for manners these days between even comparative strangers, an… ‘intimate’ photograph. To be clear: he’s not wearing the sort of nether wear a gentleman expects.”

“He’s stark bollock naked?!?” 

Hipparchus gives Lottie a look that silences her titters. Carefully placing a copy of Ovid over the lower half of the picture (as below), he lets the students have a quick look, though he is careful to keep it furthest from Lottie. 

“Wow” says Masongill. 

“Gracious” says pTravis. 

“What the…?” begins Lottie before Masongill kicks her. “Actually, he looks a bit of a hunk!” Masongill kicks her again.

“This, I think, may be our get out gaol card’ remarks Masongill. “I’ve already lodged it with my old... er... ‘colleagues’ in case any ‘accident’ happens to me. I don’t think the Potting Shed need worry. But the big professor may get a visit in the night from Special Forces. They may not be the brightest but they know how to use a truncheon in the service of the Queen... King! and in defence of his past loyal servants.”

“Hurrah! Right” says Lottie. “Let’s start making up stupid answers to these stupid questions and throw him off the scent! Educationalist! Schmeducationalist!” 

Everyone agrees and pTravis – now in discreet factotum mode – subtly pours Hipparchus a large scotch.

‘Big Johnny T’