7.5: The following week’s Westmorland Gazette

The following Thursday, the new edition of the local newspaper drops onto everyone’s doormats.

The headline story reads:

Nick Drake! Alive! Again! 

Nick Drake, the miserabilist pop crooner, who released only three albums between 1969 and 1972, before topping himself on 25 November 1974 with a cocktail of anti-depressants, is still alive and crooning. 

He has been wasting his second life as a glass-washer at the local old man’s pub, the Swan Hotel. 

These days, rather than failing to sell out pop concert venues, he fails to entertain even the Swan Hotel’s clientele, one of whom commented: 

 “Oh that’s just the Minkey. We try to ignore him!” 

Drake, aka The Minkey, still croons a good song for those who like that sort of thing and we, at the Gazette, are pleased to announce that he will almost certainly be performing again now he has been found by our intrepid AI-assisted journalists.