2.13: Another confrontation!

Realising that, even semi-retired, Bill the field-frog will be in the newspaper offices for the rest of the morning, Alcock takes this opportunity to stride, as best as his rather short platypus legs will carry him, uphill to the Swan Hotel to take a look around. The Minkey was shown a strange clip as a clue and now he has seen another in Bill’s newspaper office: it seems obvious that Bill has means and opportunity for trying to blacken the Barman’s name even if he lacks any obvious motivation.

It being only 10am, there isn’t much life in the pub. The Barman’s elderly snoring descends from a bedroom upstairs. Grenooyuh has clearly gone out for a constitutional walk, typical of the promenading French, perhaps taking young Stanli. Popty Ping is incinerating old pub beermats, receipts and crisp packets in the fireplace with his fiery breath. At first, Alcock assumes that Froggie is asleep in his chair but then he notices that, while his eyes are shut, his pipe is lit and smoking rather a lot.

Alcock is not Chair of the Potting Shed Committee for nothing and, anticipating linguistic complexities, has thought to bring a tiny miniaturised wonder: an instantaneous translating device that is so discrete Froggie will neither notice nor take offence from it (and so we, gentle reader, can also benefit from it rendering ‘Ver Kwin’s Orn Indlish’ into the Queen’s - or even King’s - Own English.).

Alcock asks Froggie if his friend Bill has been publishing nasty letters in the local paper.

“Shu"s up, Kre"in! Corss i an"s. Ver pyub is ah orm. [Do hush, Kind Sir. Of course he hasn’t. The pub is our home.]”

What is the significance of the bulldog clip?

“Dun"s nors wo" yus tor"in bah", mi"! [I am sorry but I do not know to what you are referring, my fine friend.]”

Why might Bill have been acting so guiltily this morning?

“Bums off, teedyuss! Ah’s bored ov vis ’sisshun. [Farewell fellow! I am a little weary of this conversation.]”

Realising that he is getting nowhere, Alcock decides to retreat, but as he does so, he pauses to retrieve something from the fireplace, looks over behind the bar and glances at Froggie once more.

Outside in the fresh air he realises that he has a headache, feels a little sick and somewhat dazed: no doubt the result of the second-hand smoke from Froggie’s pipe.