4.7: The Contingencies: Consideration and Cogitation Committee

Alcock convenes an emergency meeting of the Potting Shed’s Contingencies: Consideration and Cogitation Committee (the ‘4Cs’, as it is called). 

Since the events of The Curious Case of Juggins the False and of The Herbert Whodunnit, Alcock has been reading books on management theory and decided that the ‘4Cs’ would benefit from the inclusion of less conventional views. He has heard that established experts sometimes converge too quickly on the most obvious, standard, but not necessarily the best, solution to a problem. So Derek the Dodo has been co-opted onto the committee. So far he has never offered an opinion on anything and spends his time, seemingly oblivious to the meeting, searching for toast crumbs on the Potting Shed floor. In the face of apparent crises, this is, however, more reassuring than irritating and the other members have told the Chair how much they like the cut of his jib and wish to keep him on.

The rest of the Committee considers the fact that there is obviously something very strange going on in the outer world, even if it has little effect on the Potting Shed. But, surely, eventually it will? The Pod has told Lottie: “The stones have awakened! They must be sent back to sleep.” But how can anyone do that? No one knows even where to start. 

The meeting breaks up and for once Alcock is disappointed that Lottie doesn’t spring out of some cupboard - against all the rules! - with a silly suggestion. 

He feels rather glum. 

At least there has been a happier resolution on another matter. Some eagle-eyed ‘patron-level’ subscribers, on receiving the hefty package of terms and conditions, membership and reporting processes, as well as a labyrinthine hierarchical representation of the whole interconnected structure of the Potting Shed’s various committees, mentioned in 4.3 (and first promised in 2.6), have pointed out a strange anomaly. 

The documents imply that the Secretary to the main Catering Strategy Committee is the very same person as the Rapporteur of the Garden Future Developments Sub-Committee. From this it follows that pTravis is Moffat. When this was pointed out, there was a level of panic and confusion, perhaps inspired by the bad feelings concerning ambiguous identity prompted by The Curious Case of Juggins-the-False. When another ‘patron-level’ reader managed to prove that this flowed from an inconsistency in the underlying logic of the documentation - clever fellows these patrons! - which also implied that 4=5 and black is white and hence, if true, would cast serious doubt on the whole of Western science and culture rather than merely being a local matter of some embarrassment to two members of the Potting Shed, who had wondered whether they might have to exchange bunks, there was much relief. Thank goodness that’s all over now.